It always makes me sad when somebody didn't/couldn't get the right help in time. Reading this woman's blog... this *stranger's* final words to a social networking community, I felt her pain. I'm pretty balanced (almost "normal" by some people's standards) right now, but that could have been me a thousand times already. I've been completely numb, in a trance, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and not wake up. I survive an illness that kills many, but how? How do so many of us live an internal hell and come out the other side of it? Nobody deserves to live and die this way... using our own hands to take our own lives and ruining countless others'. The majority of us have treatable illnesses, but we have to try, push and work for it. It's obtainable and worth the hardship that comes with recovering. If you ever read a post like @TheBethBlog's react immediately. Find out who they know and get somebody over there. Sometimes it's too late, but at least you tried to save a life.
RIP thebeth.net
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Sunday 9 October 2011
Hello, how am I today?
I'm unable to describe my own symptoms, thoughts and feelings. Only when I read about them am I able to say "yes, this is it. This is exactly how I think/feel/act". This makes getting treatment that much more difficult. Do you know how hard it is to get proper help when you can't describe any symptoms? My doctors want me to detail and be specific, but I'm unable to give them the information they want. I end up being extremely frustrated with no resolution because they can't possibly know what I need. They seem equally as frustrated with me. They probably wonder why a person cannot answer a simple question about themselves.
I understand that "I don't feel right" or "I feel crazy" are not suitable answers, but it's what I know. The best I can do for my future visits is to write down symptoms I research online that apply to me, however if asked to detail any further, I'm screwed. I'm beginning to think that regardless of how much knowledge and experience a person has, if they're not mentally ill, there's no way they can possibly understand it.
I understand that "I don't feel right" or "I feel crazy" are not suitable answers, but it's what I know. The best I can do for my future visits is to write down symptoms I research online that apply to me, however if asked to detail any further, I'm screwed. I'm beginning to think that regardless of how much knowledge and experience a person has, if they're not mentally ill, there's no way they can possibly understand it.
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